From this day on, I speak nothing of bitterness just happy memories.
From this day on, as I reminisce the happy memories I had, I bring with me the genuine friendships I have with them.
This post was long overdue. Suzie and I was talking about the funny blunders that we had with our patients' watchers. This post is the same as the circulating internet email with "Phenobarbie-doll and CT skull"; only that this post contains a lot of my memories with Suzie, my co-nurses and our watchers.
Blunder 1:
Makulit na Lola: " Ma'am ubos na po iyong suwero ng pasyente namin."
Nurse: "Ano pong Bed Number po?"
Makulit na Lola: "Ward 45."
Nurse: (correcting Makulit na Lola) Bed 45 po Lola nasa Ward Eleven po kayo. Wala po kaming extension sa likod at mas lalo pong wala kaming tunnel."
Lesson: Do not call your patients as Bed Numbers, moreso as Ward Numbers.
Blunder 2:
Patients, especially those in the charity wards are often referred to the Medical Social Services (MSS) to augment their diagnostic and medical needs.
Nanay 1: " Ma'am, ayos na po iyong CT Scan, nahingan na po namin ng tulong."
Nurse: "Ok, sige po. Saan na iyong request para i-check natin iyong oras ng CT scan."
Nanay 1: " Ay Ma'am, iniwan ko po sa MMS." (Wagi si Nanay, high tech. Tanong naman natin iyong Wi-fi)
Blunder 3: During an IV insertion..
Nurse: "Mommy, meron po ba kayong gamit pang-suwero?"
Nanay 1: (puyat na puyat) "Ay opo Ma'am, patingnan na lang po sa supot."
Nurse: "Ok sige mommy, pahawak na ng kamay ng bata."
(After inserting the IV cannula...)
Nurse: "Mommy, akin na po iyong heplock natin."
Nanay 1: "Ay Ma'am wala na po kaming PADLOCK. Pa-reseta na lang po"
Blunder 4: During patient rounds, the nurse asks the watchers on the oral medications available and instruct them on time of administration.
Nurse: "Mommy, patingin po ng mga gamot po na ipapainom natin ngayong umaga."
Nanay: "Ma'am, ang meron po dito; iyong Vitamins at para sa konbulsyon, iyong Cobra po." (Cobra referring to Keppra- si Mommy nage-energy drink)
Blunder 5:
Before an EEG procedure,
Nurse: "Nanay, bago dalhin sa EEG dapat shampuhin ang pasyente ha."
After 30 minutes, the utility worker brought the patient back to the ward. The mother was so furious in the nurses' station looking for her patient's nurse.
Nanay: "Saan na iyong nurse namin? Hoy nurse, dahil sa iyo hindi nagawa iyong EEG ng anak ko. Pinabalik kami."
Nurse: "Bakit daw po?"
Nanay: "Sabi kasi nung technician banlawan daw muna namin iyong shampoo sa buhok nung bata."
Nurse: "Eh bakit hindi niyo binanlawan kanina nung shinampoo niyo po siya."
Nanay: "Kasi sabi mo shampuhin ko, wala ka namang sinabing banlawan eh."
Nurse: "Nanay, bakit kapag nag-sha-shampoo ka hindi ka nagbabanlaw?"
Blunder 6:
During a patient rounds...
Nurse: "Kuya (referring to the watcher of another patient), nasaan po iyong pasyente dito?"
Bantay: "Ma'am dinala po siya sa autopsy?"
Nurse: (in shocked) "Kuya anong nangyari sa kanya, bago dinala sa autopsy? Nag-code ba siya" (Code- a term that hospital workers use that refers to immediate resuscitation.")
Bantay: "Hindi naman Ma'am, hindi lang pinakain kagabi tapos sinuweruhan na siya nung nurse. Kaninang umaga inakyat sa taas para kuhanan daw po ng laman sa baga."
Nurse: 'Kuya echusero ka, baka naman ibig mong sabihin biopsy. Iyong autopsy kasi para sa patay."
Blunder 7.
After a surgical procedure, the nurse instructs the watcher of a patient...
Nurse: "Kuya, kuya, punta daw po kayo sa PACU dalhin niyo po iyong gamot ni baby na nireseta sa inyo."
Bantay:" Sige po Ma'am."
The PACU nurse was constantly calling the ward inquiring for the patient's watcher.After two hours, the watcher returned to the ward.
Nurse: "Kuya, bakit pawis na pawis kayo. Kanina pa tumatawag iyong sa PACU."
Bantay: "Eh Ma'am kanina pa nga ako naghahanap sa Paco wala naman dun iyong pasyente ko.
Nurse: "Kuya hindi ba kayo pumunta sa 3rd floor? Doon po kasi iyong PACU."
Bantay: "Hindi Ma'am, namasahe pa nga po ako eh."
Finally, yet the most famous of all our bantay bloopers:
Blunder 8:
Blunder 8:
Bantay: "Ma'am, pa-sanction na po ng pasyente ko. Ang dami na niyang plema."
Always remember that communication is always two-way; and communication is a basic nursing skill. Failure to do so will jeopardize our relationship with our patients. However, in this case, communication bloopers will always be a part of my five year stay in Ward Eleven.
