At Changi Airport- November 23, 2013
The clouds aligned the clear horizon as the trees steadily tower to reach the blue ceiling. Serene pauses, blank thoughts, lonely spaces- they seem to populate my waiting hours.
Long foregone were the fleeting hours when love drives my existence. I am starting to get used to my own reclusive space. I am getting used to be alone-- just alone.
I am listening to this song hoping that as the strings are plucked one by one, it creates this chaotic harmony - a melody that will reverberate into your memory the remembrance of you and I. You and I, but not together.
I am miles above the earth being jostled back to wherever that defined the distance and separation. One day, if the universe permits but a "one space", I hope I can look at you without neglect or pretensions of happiness. I can joyfully say to you that I have loved you- in past tense without expectations.
For now, I only have myself and this mind that has nothing but a million and one jibberish unstrung words. When I am into my own world, I delight not in conversations but in silence, I thrive not in sharing my personal space but in watching from a distance people in transit, love in transit.
There's something wonderful with strangers' faces: unruly hair; moles in the right places and oh that favorite mole just above the upper right lip; button-wide nose and dark circles around the eyes. Eyes staring away. Strangers' eyes staring at me and telling but a million thoughts- conveying stories on how good it was waking up besides someone who was not drunk the night before or stories on how coffee defied its purpose of being just a "coffee" or how it was to feel the warmth of another hand interlocked in their own fingers.
The displacement of this strong emotion compels me to look at myself in the mirror- unruly hair; mole just above the upper right lip, button-wide nose and dark circles around my eyes. Eyes staring away- far away where love has gone to. I hope one day I can joyfully say to myself that I have found the love again- over and over again.
