The Postprandial Thoughts: Soliloquy

Closing doors and goodbyes. Who would imagine that my life and this playful universe will hit me again with another curb ball that drags me to my starting line. I stare at my watch and it reads 4:28 AM and while the rest of the world is dozing off to their dreams and blank hallucinations, I on the other hand, immerse myself in the beauty of a pin pricked head and remembrances.

Measuring and evaluating impact- these I have done in the past two years. I thought I know it all but here in this closing chapter I realized that there is nothing I should be measuring but myself. How well have I wisely chosen my actions? How well did I control my temper and remind myself that my worries are nothing but minute molecules in this continuum of time? How often have I disowned my own comfort for a greater purpose?

I would have wanted to exit myself in the most inconspicuous manner. I would have wanted to pack my boxes silently and leave-while others hustle and give the best that they can to change but one child's life. I would have wanted to sulk on my sweet tears while bidding goodbye from afar. But I guess goodbyes are not meant to be modest and inaudible.

And since I contradict myself- this is but a bittersweet soliloquy.

For two years, I was used to wear that bright red logo as I stomped into new experiences and places, meet strangers and breathe passionately.

Who would have thought that as I wore that red logo, hundred of memories afloat in my universe- along with the sun, moon and countless bright stars? But as all stars explode out of the skies, this melancholy impels me to stare at the ebb of this closing chapter in awe.