The phone rang once... twice... My head is screaming its hesitancy of picking it up. I just came home from work and my body demands nothing but to rest. Not tonight. Whoever's calling now, would call early in the morning.
The phone rang thrice. And on the fourth, I gave up.
"Hello"
"Hi..It's me."
His voice was very familiar, but I could not figure out who he was.
"Uhmm.. I am not sure. But who's this?"
"It's me... Love"
"Love? Oohh.. how are you?"
"You... how are you? It's been a while since you have me in your life. I hope you're not mad at me. Are you?"
"How can I be mad at you? It was never your fault, anyway. We both took the risk of having you and hoped that you would stay for long."
"I'm sorry. You know how this work, right?"
"Yeah... I know very well.. Hey, I had a bad day, so can I hang up?"
"Sure... " Love said.
I was lying numb on my bed as I re-run the conversation I just had with Love. "It's been a while.." And what now? What does Love want from me now? In my last conversation with him, I vaguely remembered that I clearly asked him to stay out of my life... to just leave me alone and not to bother me anymore.
"Please, no more assurances. No more falling stars. No more happy endings. Just stay away from me, especially now that I am picking up myself again."
He said: " You can never make me stay out of your life. You live because of me. I can never promise tomorrows without heartaches or tomorrows without tears. I can never force him to love you more than you love him. I can never make everything last forever. Because, you know it well...Nothing lasts forever."
"Well, I no longer believe in you, Love. I was deluded by your expectations. I am not like you. I don't believe in second chances anymore."
"Is this really what you want? If you just let me, I will undo all the bitterness and tears that he caused you. I will answer all your unanswered questions. On why he failed you... why he chose to hurt you."
"No...it would be useless now, Love. I don't need you. I need Time."
What does Love want from me now? It's 2:41 a.m and I haven't had a decent sleep for five days. The only thing that I need right now is not a crappy conversation with Love... I don't need him. I cannot afford to have him right now.
The next day, I called Love. I know, I had been rude hanging up on him that way.
"Why are you here, Love? Why...it's too soon"
"I just want you to have me in your life now. I told you, I cannot leave you."
"I am not sure if I can trust on you again Love. How many times have you failed me?"
"Not once did I fail you. You just stopped believing on me... You stopped hoping on me. You were too scared like he was. "
Silence.
Yes, it's true. I was scared at first, but then I let Love do his magic. I jumped. I had not once stopped hoping on love. I held on until I have lose all the strength to hold on and the reasons to hold on. It wasn't me who gave up. He gave up first.
" Love, I am not sure on what you said that I live because of you. I realized that I am capable of living without you. You know me very well. I will never abandon you. I won't give you up. In fact, I'll do everything for you. But, I have to live without you enough to make me feel alive."
I can hear Love sobbing...Tears too are flowing out of my eyes.
Then he finally said: "Please don't lose your faith in me. He just asked me to come talk to you. You have waited for four years for him to finally have the courage to face his fears. He never let me go. He told me, you are the only right thing in his life so he hold onto me. I was his only sweet memory of you. If you want, I'll make him wait. And when I come back at you, please dont shut me away. Don't be too scared. I'll be here waiting for you.Then let's just hope, I am here to stay"
