The old lady was half-awake as she breathed in and out with the help of the respirator; as her husband of 50 (plus) years stood by her bedside and gripped her lifeless hands.
For the past days, I am struggling to erase this short memory from my mind; not because I feel for the old woman who does not deserve to be in her present predicament but moreso I pity for the husband who blame himself on why her wife was all oblivious, battered and black and blue. So far, the only time that the old man left her wife's side was when he hurried to their cabinet to take out some rolled tissue to wipe his own tears.
He is a young husband, around 35 I guess. When he was admitted in the bed next to our mini- station, his wife and relatives were crying incessantly. They were much aware of the reality that he may not survive, since not much has survived a gun shot wound in the head.
His wife has been the one running around for laboratory and medicine errands. She is the one who painstakingly ignored her numb muscles for running around so much. When doctors prescribed something, she without hesitance rushed to the pharmacy. Because deep down she knows if this is how second chances work, then she will not moan a single selfish complaint. For days, the husband showed no signs of improvement until the day when his eyes opened and caught the sight of her wife tired and sleepless; with her hand holding his.
Life has allowed the peculiar evolution of both rational and irrational thoughts, feelings and actions in us. And as I witness to the constant swings and shifts of these feelings and thoughts associated with morbidities and mortalities, I was reminded by a very simple life philosophy: "All we need is someone who can hold our hands in our lifeless and waking moments".
I should better be assigned back to the ward. The commotions of leaking I.V fluids, feeding tubes being pulled out, parents overly frantic about late procedures and hospital staff and students chasing after patients' charts would definitely keep my mind off these over-sentimental philosophies.
