Triskaidekaphobia - [tris-kahy-dek-uh-foh-bee-uh] - n. fear or a phobia concerning the number 13.
I was never a sucker for superstition especially that of the Friday the 13th; the kind of person who feared going out because it is Friday the 13th. For me, it is a blessing to be awaken by my Creator albeit my approximately a few REM cycles in 1.5 hour sleep cramming for my departmental examination in HPAD 201. I slept at 6 am forcing myself to digest a 3 inch-thick handouts on management concepts, policies, health marketing and economics. At 7:30 a.m., my head was throbbing in pain and heaviness and my eyes all popped out and blood-streaked. With still 40 plus unread lecture pages, I devoured the remaining pages without "chewing"- I studied without technically understanding the concepts. Friday the 13th had not taken its toll until the examination proper. I had left a few sections blank since i didn't have anything to jot down I had everything jumbled up in that heavy and stubborn brain of mine. When the exam was through, I thought I had the worst 3 hours of that day. I saw my first examination results and found out that I had the lowest score in the class. How can I pass this subject with the way I gauged in this departmental? I wanted to excel in my academic studies and be serious about it. I have tried really harder this semester than before and it seems my efforts are futile.
After the exam, we headed for lunch at Old Spaghetti House and had the worst pasta and chocolate truffle. I was literally depressed when I went home and got more annoyed with myself when I lost my temper with the pedicab driver. I wanted to just go home and unload every disappointments welled up inside my chest. He was apathetic and was delaying me from the comfort of a locked room and intent prayers.
Me: "Kuya kaya nga po ako nag-pedicab kasi nagmamadali po ako! Ang bagal niyo po kasi magpatakbo"
Pedicab Driver: "Ah... ganun ba. Mabagal ba?" (pedalled the bicycle faster)
Me: "Dito na po ako.Para"
Pedicab Driver: "Dito ka lang naman pala ha. Nag-pedicab ka pa."
For the past days, I haven't had a temper outburst except now. Even at work, I persevered not to mouth off my workmates.I want to push myself harder on things like these. I don't want to hurt other people, much worse people that I don't personally know.
I also missed Boyz II Men concert here in Manila with Suzie and the despedida dinner of my close friend Jo-Anne because I was really feeling bad and was not in the mood of going outside the perimeter of my cozy bed. Thankfully, the next Friday the 13th will be on May 2011.
I am shaking off everything that has transpired today, with a thankful and hopeful heart, I pray to You, my Creator, that tomorrow will be a new day. I can never change what the past has for itself. I can never undo things. You had everything preconceived, my future and my heart's desires. I don't know what's next for me all I can do is to entrust everything in Your hands my Lord.
Matthew 10: 16 "Stay alert. This is hazardous work I'm assigning you. You're going to be like sheep running through a wolf pack, so don't call attention to yourselves. Be as cunning as a snake, inoffensive as a dove." - The Message
